Disorder Warriors Gifts

'Another Monday morning with me and my incompetent caregiver.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

U of Debt

"Try thinking about something else."

The Cougher

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"That's a big fat lie!"

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

'You strap it on and it monitors your eating habits -- it's called the 'Fudgebuster.''

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Student Debt

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

Doctor's house visit "What's made him worse since I phoned Doctor was worrying about the cost of a house call"

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

And just how long have you had this impending feeling of doom?

"Like WikiLeaks has nothing better to do."

Free radicals.

'Look at it this way. The Dow gained 20% or more in the last three years. That's good. You gained 20 pounds or more in the last three years. That's bad.'

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

"How does this make you feel?"

'I don't feel like there is anything to sing about.'

business illustration

'I may be 40 years old, but I have the student debt of a 20 year old.'

'Please do not ask for change.'

Graham and his amazing anxiety

A day without anxiety is like a day without sunshine...

'50 of the population spends more than they earn. That's where we come in.'