Self-improvement Warrior Pillows

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

Woman throwing away smoking accessories

'Stay with your diet, take all your pills, and buy a new dress.'

'Hold on. I want to weigh myself.'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

Meeting Today - Over-Compensators Anonymous.

Fighting With Yourself

They hated me.

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

What else is there to wish for?

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

Critisize your weight.

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

Woman looking into a mirror

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

Self Help / Elf Help.

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'