Self-improvement Champ Pillows

"This year I resolve to be a better person inside and out."

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

What else is there to wish for?

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"You left your demons here last week."

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

Self Help / Elf Help.

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Let go of the restrictions in your own head.

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

When life gives you lemons...

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

It's A Breeze

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."