Self-awareness Seeker Pillows

'You know you're 40 when...'(women)

'Every time I try to get in touch with my inner self, she's out to lunch.'

If you were an iceberg...

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

"L. . . E. . . my crippling fear of intimacy. . . H . . ."

'Can you remember where you were when you first realized you were full of crap?'

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

A woman shops for choir robes in sizes 'small' 'large' and 'large but think they are small'.

'I don't know about you but I don't feel very sapiens today.'

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.'

"Help me doc - I keep thinking I'm inside a cartoon."

"My mistake. I'm feeling uncertain and inadequate today and meant to call the Insecurity Guard."

"Let's face it, Ernie. We're never going to be warm and fuzzy!"

"I've been told I'm oblivious to people."

"Maybe I don't have PMS. . . Maybe I'm just a moody cow."

"Anyway, enough about you. Let's talk about me."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"Look at those drunken losers, that'll be us in twenty years."

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

Jeff noticed he was showing his feminine side.

'You're not fooling anybody but yourself.' 'There goes my political career!'

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

Yob/Boy

'...Yes I'm you from the future, I came back because everyone was sick of you...'

"Do social media sites turn people into narcissists? I keep asking myself that question."

'Maybe this would work better if we tried exinguishing each OTHER'S egos.'

"I'm full of self-loathing? What, I gotta do everything myself around here?"

"Look, it's my word balloon."

"Ever wake up and think, No, I did nothing to change the course of human history?"

"I've never actually run but I understand the marathon mentality."

"Can you recite back where I said, ‘He’s such a drama queen’? I just want to hear you say it.”

"As this is the only pond I've ever been in, I don't know if it's big or small."

"Getting in touch with reality has depressed the hell out of me."

"You've got solipsistic narcissism, take two selfies and call me in the morning."

"Just to let you know, that 'Is it in yet?' joke is pretty damaging to my confidence."