Self-image Warriors Pillows

'I hate you seeing me like this. The crystal ball adds, like, ten pounds.'

Woman looking into a mirror

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

Me when by BDD shows up

TV-Mirror.

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"Don't make me look fat!"

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

In these hard economic times, positive self worth trumps negative self worth.

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"Why do I let everybody walk all over me?'

'A second opinion? -- Are you trying to mess with my self-esteem?'

'I'll take THIS mirror.'

"I'm trying to find that perfect piece of art that will make me think I know something about art."

Fighting With Yourself

"Do my glutes look big in these?"

'He wants to look slightly mysterious and menacing.'

"Maybe you should ask yourself why you're inviting all this duck hunting into your life right now."