Self-image Challenger Pillows

"I know how some actors feel. I can't stand to watch myself on security camera tapes."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Nice haircut."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"That's a big fat lie!"

Ego Increasing School

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

"What does she have that I don't?"

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

TV-Mirror.

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Doc, my problem is that I don't believe in myself!'

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

'We can increase your self-esteem, but self-respect is more difficult.'

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

Cartoon Panel Discussion

"Stock photo, right?"

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

'Do you have anywhere where they'd think I was good looking.'

"I wish I was special."

"Don't make me look fat!"