Self-image Advocate Pillows

Sigh - '' - 'Waaaaah!' - '' - 'Hey! I'm not that fat!!!' - '' -

'Heeheehee! I told her that brown feathers make her look fat!'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Nice haircut."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

TV-Mirror.

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I hate her...'

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"Be honest, Ralph, does my butt makes these pants look big?"

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

Body Shaming

"I always feel fat when we play in Los Angeles."

"Stock photo, right?"

Cartoon Panel Discussion

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"Don't make me look fat!"

A tight skirt makes a woman look slim!

"One nice thing about being an amoeba, nobody ever tells you you're out of shape!"

"Even my mother and father never believed in me."

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

'Plastic surgeon' - 'Gift a give certificate to your ugly friends'

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"