Self-image Advocate Gifts

Sigh - '' - 'Waaaaah!' - '' - 'Hey! I'm not that fat!!!' - '' -

'Heeheehee! I told her that brown feathers make her look fat!'

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

"Nice haircut."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

TV-Mirror.

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'I think my dieting may be getting out of hand.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

'I hate her...'

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"I always feel fat when we play in Los Angeles."

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

"Don't make me look fat!"

'Plastic surgeon' - 'Gift a give certificate to your ugly friends'

"Stock photo, right?"

Cartoon Panel Discussion

"Even my mother and father never believed in me."

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

A tight skirt makes a woman look slim!

Body Shaming

'Casper just lost twenty seven and a half pounds, but his head is just as fat as ever.'

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

"Be honest, Ralph, does my butt makes these pants look big?"

"One nice thing about being an amoeba, nobody ever tells you you're out of shape!"

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."