Self-image Seeker Pillows

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

Citizen's advice bureau, "I'd shave off the beard"

"I want you to make me the fairest of them all."

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"I'm trying to find that perfect piece of art that will make me think I know something about art."

TV-Mirror.

'I'll take THIS mirror.'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Nice haircut."

Ego Increasing School

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'But do you realize what this report cart will do to my self-esteem?'

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

"What does she have that I don't?"

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Me when by BDD shows up

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

"Look, I still fit into the fitted sheet I wore when we met."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'Cosmetic surgery.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'Does my bum look big in this?'

'Doc, my problem is that I don't believe in myself!'

Self esteem clinic - Go ahead, take a number. You deserve it.

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

Well there's something you don't see every day...

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches

Does this skirt make it look like sexy fat?

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

"I wish I was special."

"Stock photo, right?"

"Yes, but why did they use a picture that makes me look fat?!"