Self-acceptance Enthusiast Pillows

'Me? Fat? I like to think of it as using a different aspect ratio to normal'

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

Congratulations!

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"I'm desperate to have an inner child of my own."

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"I get the feeling you're still keeping a lot of yourself inside."

'I'm prescribing a patch to help you get over your inhibitions. Put it over your eye and pretend you're a pirate!'

A giraffe in a hat

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

Self-realization.

Narcissus

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'Tell me your name and I'll tell you who you are!'

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

"Once I figured out who and what I was, doors just opened for me."

"No, a fear of snakes is not unusual, but in your case..."