Self-acceptance Enthusiast Pillows

'Me? Fat? I like to think of it as using a different aspect ratio to normal'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"This next one's called 'Song for Me'."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

Congratulations!

"Goodnight, Dan, you handsome devil!"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'All his life, Mel has been convinced that he's a poster boy for something... he's just never been able to figure out what, exactly.'

A giraffe in a hat

'I'm prescribing a patch to help you get over your inhibitions. Put it over your eye and pretend you're a pirate!'

"I'm desperate to have an inner child of my own."

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"I get the feeling you're still keeping a lot of yourself inside."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

Self-realization.

"It's my self-portrait. Obviously."

I heart my bum.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

Narcissus

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

"Once I figured out who and what I was, doors just opened for me."

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

'Tell me your name and I'll tell you who you are!'