Self-acceptance Champion Pillows

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

Hag for Life

"Let's don't, and say we did."

"I'm not bald, I'm just taller than my hair."

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

The words 'Well done ' take seconds to say, but will be long remembered and appreciated.

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Don't Take No For an Answer

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

'Well, I must be going. I have some shopping to do with the money you saved by acting as your own lawyer.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

Self Love Witch

'She was always very proud of her figure.'

I heart my bum.

'Are we birds? Are these wings? Well, let's get rid of this idea that we can't fly!'

'You've got a lot of nerve, lady, calling my son's answers 'wrong'...His answers may be different, but they're just as special and beautiful as anyone else's.'

If Only Magazine: The Pot Belly Is In!

Celebrating National No Bra Day

"I'm sorry. Now that everyone's home reading, watching movies, educating themselves, and reflecting on the meaning of life, there's just no money for the arts."

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

Gok Wan

Actually, it's kind of a relief to discover I wasn't a thin guy trapped in a heavy guy's body.

"I've had therapy and this IS the best possible version of myself."

"No, you still look fat."

'Of course you're big and clumsy, but don't forget one thing. You're supposed to be big and clumsy.'

'What matters is what you think. What others think is none of your beeswax.'

Finally, a fanny-pack he could be proud of.