Self-esteem Champion Pillows

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'Of course you're big and clumsy, but don't forget one thing. You're supposed to be big and clumsy.'

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'You've got a lot of nerve, lady, calling my son's answers 'wrong'...His answers may be different, but they're just as special and beautiful as anyone else's.'

Just Be Yourself

"Large...but not larger than life."

"No, you still look fat."

If Only Magazine: The Pot Belly Is In!

"Manny Moreno told me at school today that I'm really smart...for a girl."

Mark my words...you will grow into your horns! I bloody well hope so.

'What are you talking about!? You're gorgeous!'

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

'I like working with low self-esteem types - They never argue with you,'

"Don't let anyone call you a flightless bird. We're birds who choose to waddle."

Self Love Witch

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

PROBLEM AREAS

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

Don't Take No For an Answer

Girl's weight issues.

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"