Self-esteem Coach Pillows

"Believe me, no one will notice your new braces."

Same Planet, Different Worlds.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

"Everytime I wear boxer shorts, the Fruit of the Loom guys start laughing."

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

PROBLEM AREAS

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

Girl's weight issues.

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Don't Take No For an Answer

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you because that's how I deal with my insecurities."

Interviews.

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

'Great white shark! Where do they get that 'great' stuff? Know how hard that is to live up to?'

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

The great and near-great

"Well. It DOES make you look thinner."

'I'm trying to work on Mr. Findlay's self-esteem, Miss Oglethorpe — stop giggling in there!'

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

'What do you mean 'when push came to shove, I patted'?'

100% Bombast-Filled Parka