Champion Of Self-esteem Pillows

Please Help - Low Elf Esteem

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

PROBLEM AREAS

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Don't Take No For an Answer

"At first I thought I'd hate it, but now I have to have it."

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I have way too much respect and dignity to dye the grey out of my hair... so instead could you all just put on these brown-tinted glasses.'

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

"Do you promise to love and comfort yourself, on good days and bad, for richer, for poorer, in weight gain and loss, as long as you shall live?"

"Science has proven that if you don't know what you're talking about, people will still take you seriously if you act like you do...Especially if you back it up by saying 'Science has proven' it."

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

'Well, I must be going. I have some shopping to do with the money you saved by acting as your own lawyer.'

Self Love Witch

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"Be honest, Ralph, does my butt makes these pants look big?"

"Jazz fusion, modern country or my podcast - my podcast it is!"

"Even my mother and father never believed in me."

"Everytime I wear boxer shorts, the Fruit of the Loom guys start laughing."

Body Shaming

"It doesn't matter how many people tell me I'm beautiful. Inside, I still feel like the fat caterpillar all the other kids teased unmercifully!"