Guilt-free Giver Pillows

"You know very well what subscription forms."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Chocs away.

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

Can you guess what it is yet?

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

Meat Department

The four major food groups.

"I switched hobbies from tropical fish to gardening. I won't feel so bad if I kill a plant."

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

Blood Donor

A bunch of people with balloons celebrate 'National Volunteer Week.'

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

Thanks And Giving.

'Gee, thanks pal."

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

"Don't be so mean...give him some money!"

I THINK when OXFAM suggested you buy a goat for Xmas...They meant for the third world!

"Our final honorary doctorate goes to John P. Lind, who kicked in three million clams for a chem lab."

Newspaper headlines before and after Christmas.

Baldo, I really got to know you on my recent visit. I want you to come see me someday. Here is $300. Save it for your plane fare. Don't even think about using the money to buy a car."

Weight Loss Cheat.

'Spare change.'

Bob wished he had gotten this cal BEFORE he gave all his money to his favourite charity.

'So there I was, alone in the aisle, heart pounding, without a bloody clue as to what wine I should bring our hosts.'

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

Please give U.S. Fire & Flooding Victims

"I like subtitles. I can watch the movie, skip the book, and not feel guilty."

'I'm afraid I don't have any spare change at the moment.. Tell you what though, if you give me your email address I'll contribute via the internet.'