Guilt-free Shopper Pillows

"Instead of ordering something every day, I ordered it all at one time. I feel less guilty that way."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

Chocs away.

"Here's your dessert. A guilt counselor iss standing by to help you once you calculate how many calories you've consumed."

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

"Ambitions... to eat, drink and be merry."

The four major food groups.

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

"I hate how we stigmatize eating by calling it a feeding frenzy."

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."

'SHOP!!!'

"If you don't give us your email address we show up at your house."

'It means that when you order the cheesecake, the guilt comes free.'

"Only twelve more hours to go, what are you hoping to bag?!!"

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

'Because we're seniors and can do whatever we want!!'

"Will your spiritual journey take you anywhere near the shops?"

"Actually, you're in excellent health. The only thing I recommend is that you cut back on carbs...and that means cutting back on your favorite dishes."

Newspaper headlines before and after Christmas.

Weight Loss Cheat.

"I like subtitles. I can watch the movie, skip the book, and not feel guilty."

'Do you think these jeans make me look fat? Be honest!'

'It says 'An honest product from an honest company... 100% artificial'.'

Buying expensive, impractical shoes may help to relieve depression.

"This class is really cool! It has a field trip to the mall!"

"You know very well what subscription forms."

Directions.

'Let's start by determining the type of person you are. Are you upfront, or do you give off subtle signals?'