Summit Scribbler Gifts

Tourist graffiti on the top of a mountain.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

'Hows it coming?'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

OOPS!

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

Writer’s Corner

Anna Burns

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

A pen spewing letters

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.