Suburban Warrior Gifts

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Beware Of The Hog...

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"He loves his leaf blower."

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"The trees are laughing at us."

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

Pasadena Playhouse War

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

"I hate when a parking spot in the city opens up."

Nun confronts mugger.

Lawrence of Suburbia

Urban Expansion

"I think it's the road to Stressville...."

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Super express lane for working mothers only!

'She wasn't a soccer mom after all -- she was a NINJA mom!'

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

Pardon our dust as we continue to remodel every square inch of planet Earth!

"Hard day at the train station dear?"

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

"Do you validate?" "What? No, there's no parking lot. It's just street parking. And that's free." "I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8am." "I'm not following." "It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me." "Get out."

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

Sign: Gritty Urban Experience, Next 10 Exits.

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

'Someone's got to do something about these pot holes!'

"I have a low-cost project you can which you can involve yourself with."

Poker Moms