Suburban Struggler Gifts

Albert hated growing up in a small town. 'Ow!! My toe!'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"The trees are laughing at us."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

'Hey, buddy, this is a cattle subdivision.'

Moving Van.

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

'...and this is our noisiest model Sir - just right for waking up the neighbours on a Sunday morning.'

Poker Moms

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"

Stuart's grand plan to bring the good-time steel drum vibe of the Caribbean to Belle Haven, Connecticut, hits its first snag...

'The growing field of lawn enforcement'.

"Look lady, I told you before; anything over one-hundred pounds you gotta take to the dump yourself."

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

"It ran amok."

"Beware of everything."

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Mowing the Lawn

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

Lawn mower breaking kit

Couple in garden, "Look - Lawrence of suburbia."

Next 5 Exits: Five sprawling suburbs that look so much like each other even WE can't tell the difference any more. Best of luck to you.

Whole family rushing to see a newly laid egg

ahhh...peace and quiet...

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"