Suburban Joker Gifts

"I know it's four in the morning, but I want to start yard work early to get the neighbors up."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"The trees are laughing at us."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Lawrence of Suburbia

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'Shall we dig him up, we haven't had an ice cream in over an hour?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Autumn Leaves

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

Knight in the Elevator

'...and this is our noisiest model Sir - just right for waking up the neighbours on a Sunday morning.'

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

'Sheep happens.'

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

'It's my first dog house with indoor plumbing.'

(Used to be) END.

'Damn! Sex and the City is not on tonight.' 'Does that mean no sex in the suburbs tonight either?'

Throughout the 17 years that she had lived next to the golf course, Linda simply couldn't resist pulling this stunt whenever the opportunity arose.

Beware Of The Hog...

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

Must resist urge to mock inspirational posters

"Don't answer—it's those pickleballers again."

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?