Suburban Joker Gifts

"I know it's four in the morning, but I want to start yard work early to get the neighbors up."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"The trees are laughing at us."

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Lawrence of Suburbia

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'Shall we dig him up, we haven't had an ice cream in over an hour?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Autumn Leaves

'The pro told me my score of 392 is a course record!'

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

'...and this is our noisiest model Sir - just right for waking up the neighbours on a Sunday morning.'

Knight in the Elevator

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

(Used to be) END.

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

'It's my first dog house with indoor plumbing.'

'Sheep happens.'

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

'Damn! Sex and the City is not on tonight.' 'Does that mean no sex in the suburbs tonight either?'

Beware Of The Hog...

Must resist urge to mock inspirational posters

"Who farted?"

Before you leave...Do you have any feedback to help us improve our village?

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

"Don't answer—it's those pickleballers again."