Suburban Jokers Gifts

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

A Club Sandwitch.

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

Minnesota Weather.

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

Autumn Leaves

"On my right is Mr. Darius, who'll fill you in on our corporate counterculture."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

Winter. I'm starting to think it's not coming at all.

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

"This is called silent tennis? It's like regular tennis without the racket."

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

"This is a letter from your teacher. Are you seriously eating your own homework?"

Terror Strikes A Leaf Funeral

"If you kids must have food fights, try not to do it when the cafeteria is serving soup."

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

(Used to be) END.

'It's my first dog house with indoor plumbing.'

"I'm not ready for a big commitment. Could I just pal around with a sidewalk a little?"

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

'Damn! Sex and the City is not on tonight.' 'Does that mean no sex in the suburbs tonight either?'

"Listen, I've got a catchphrase,...'mind that coconut!'"

"I hear he lets his kids stay out all day. Shameful."

'Let's be careful this morning, the patient's wife informed me that he broke a chain-letter recently.'

"Don't answer—it's those pickleballers again."

All-Christopher Neighborhood, Westport, CT, 1988

"It appears Tom's cable is out again!"

"It's the old story. East Hampton isn't big enough for both of them."