Suburban Striker Gifts

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"He loves his leaf blower."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Lawrence of Suburbia

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Moving Van.

Poker Moms

"What are you looking at?"

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"

'The growing field of lawn enforcement'.

'Harold arrives home from work early now. He solved all his commuting and exercise problems at once.'

"If only he made goals all of the time instead of just at the beginning of the year."

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

"Look lady, I told you before; anything over one-hundred pounds you gotta take to the dump yourself."

Supermarkets eyeing up suburban development site.

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Mowing the Lawn

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

Lawn mower breaking kit

Couple in garden, "Look - Lawrence of suburbia."

Beware Of The Hog...

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"

Goalie sitting in middle of full park bench waiting for player to shoot

Whole family rushing to see a newly laid egg