Urban Warrior Gifts

Pardon our dust as we continue to remodel every square inch of planet Earth!

Urban Expansion

"Hey, jackass! Keep it down, you inconsiderate jerk! And stay safe and healthy during these difficult times!"

Sign: Gritty Urban Experience, Next 10 Exits.

'Maintenance' first then 'Rent increase' on apartment blocks

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

"I think it's the road to Stressville...."

'I have no choice. I own a gas-guzzling clunker.'

"It's good that people who prefer Liverpool to Manchester, live there."

'I'll tell you what life's all about...'

'I'm not stressed by the belated and crowded subway. I'm stressed by all the stupid mobile conversations I was forced to listen to!'

'Someone's got to do something about these pot holes!'

'Hurry officer...pedestrian rage!!'

Municipal employee strike. Hang on boys. As soon as the stench reaches City Hall, they'll negotiate in good faith.

'Do you realise that I have a wife and kids to support?'

Nun confronts mugger.

Save this Wilderness.

'Just my luck, if I wasn't on the sick with stress I could of been on strike.'

'I feel stuck - in traffic.'

"You don't scare me, pal - I teach driver's ed!"

"I hate when a parking spot in the city opens up."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

"How does it feel to wreak havoc eight hours a day?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Willy's hopes of killing the freeway project fizzled as he slowly realised he couldn't read a damn thing.

"Do you validate?" "What? No, there's no parking lot. It's just street parking. And that's free." "I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8am." "I'm not following." "It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me." "Get out."

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Keep Staring At This Point And Nobody Will Bother You

His Master's Noise.

"Your timing is just fine. I'll lose you in a minute when I get on the elevator."

"We haven't been out in it for 3 years in case he loses his parking space..."

"Congestion charge, mate!"

"Of course I don't need a Doctor, I'm saving this parking space"

"We had to get builders to stop hoarding land and start building houses...extreme forms of persuasion were called for!"