Urban Warriors Gifts

Parking? I don't think so.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

City Marathon.

Commutobile

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

"This city is becoming unlivable."

Run, Mike, Run!

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'I'm looking for a toothpaste that combats Tokyo, Kansas city and Suburban Portland along the gum line.'

"I hate when a parking spot in the city opens up."

Nun confronts mugger.

'Hey, Birdbrain, does the word ozone mean anything to you?'

Water shortage and waste due to leaks

"Prepare to meet thy blower."

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

Pasadena Playhouse War

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

Urban Expansion

"I think it's the road to Stressville...."

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

Gas Bill

Pardon our dust as we continue to remodel every square inch of planet Earth!

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

'What SPF do you use?'