Urban Crusader Gifts

Water shortage and waste due to leaks

"These 'poor doors' are getting out of hand."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

Oil shock.

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

Nun confronts mugger.

"I hate when a parking spot in the city opens up."

'It says...desperately seeking someone to explain the difference between Obamacare and the Affordable Health Care Act...'

Urban Expansion

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

Poor man and rich man

"I think it's the road to Stressville...."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

'Instead of the dollar or the Yuan, I'd like my allowance pegged to the value of the comic book,'

"Have you figured out what the powers of that new super hero will be? How about the power to meet deadlines? That would be a good power?"

Applications

Pardon our dust as we continue to remodel every square inch of planet Earth!

'We lost funding.'

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

"She already spent summers in New York City without A/C."

"I told Mr Simmons there's something I wanted to get off my chest - his hands."

"Do you validate?" "What? No, there's no parking lot. It's just street parking. And that's free." "I know. But I came in to get a coffee yesterday morning at 7:59. The line was so long that I didn't get out of here till 8:02. Apparently you had street cleaning that started at 8am." "I'm not following." "It was your long line. The least you could do is validate the parking ticket they gave me." "Get out."

"Tough group."

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'