Suburb Living Gifts

Dog House.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

Wifi in Hell

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

No Immediate Danger

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

Packed like sardines

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

Is Driving Doomed?

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"