Moving To Suburbia Gifts

Autumn Leaves

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"I'm going green, too. I'm finally going to mow the lawn."

Mark and Gwyneth had a dark secret. At night, once the curtains were closed to the suburban world outside, the facade they put up to the neighbours was revealed to be 100 genuine...they were totally boring.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Picking pastries.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"No one uses Facebook anymore. I'm on this new thing called make-believe."

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

''Now we're the only yard in the block with a blue apple tree!'

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Don't let him get to you. I'm sure there are lots of people you didn't invite."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Beware of the Lawn

"I want to live in a neighborhood where I can walk around at night."

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

'Hoy Mr Woodpecker: Some of us are trying to sleep here!'