Suburb Living T-Shirts

Dog House.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

No Immediate Danger

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

Packed like sardines

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."