Suburb Dweller Gifts

"I take it this means the barbeque is ready."

"Tell you the truth - I ain't feelin' all that Hitchcockian."

Burbivore

It was going to be a subdivision, but they ran out of snow. Chilly Hills Estates.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Upper West Side Story

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Beware of the Lawn

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Tortured Plank

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Thank you."

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

Skimming out star reflections

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"Scat!"

Auld Gang Sign

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."