Subaquatic Handyman Gifts

'That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Fish snorkling above water.

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

Whale Shark Thoughts...

Al puts tiny diapers on his fish.

"You seem to be balancing your workload well."

Making fun of Starfish.

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

"If you don't rake them your leaves will simply break down into mulch over the winter."

'I think he wants you to play ball!'

"Don't bother going that way: They've installed shark nets..."

Celebrate National Submarine Day.

"It was an accident! How many times must I apologize?"

"Every year I lay a thousand eggs. Mother's Day rolls around, not a single card."

"I was so shy I hid to sound her out. When the echo came back, she sounded really good looking, and the rest, is history..."

'He kept his enthusiasm for DIY right up to the end.'

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

"Gladys, look! My kids made me a card for Mother's Day!"

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

"Look at you! Dirty all over! I told you not to play with your ink!!"

A Clash Between an Octopus and a Diver.

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

Dry Cleaning

"You'll have to excuse the president. He misses his old days at the construction site."

"How long can you hold that pose?!"

"What's that clicking sound?"

'My doctor told me to eat less fish.'

'Frankly, I think we should stop trying to communicate with Humans: They're simply not smart enough to understand us'

"Me, I've traded mobility for living space and comfort...

'Oh, mooom! Salesman-om-a-diving-trip again? Man, I'm really longing for the end of the holiday season!'

"Look ma, I got my first tentacle!"