Nautical Handyman Gifts

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Cannonball!'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

"Mind the whale, dear."

'Are we there yet?'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Slip Ahoy!'

Captain steering house through flood.

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

"Touché"

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Farmer and FIsherman

Saved...life is good!