Nautical Handyman T-Shirts

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Cannonball!'

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

'Are we there yet?'

"Mind the whale, dear."

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Slip Ahoy!'

Captain steering house through flood.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Touché"

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

Pirates double up as a scratching post.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Farmer and FIsherman

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'