Nautical Enthusiast Gifts

Lifeboats

"Are we there yet?"

'I said I like a good sale.'

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

'Women and children first!'

The Private Doubts of Christopher Columbus.

'Captain! - Captain! Trouble at the pointy bit!'

"Always the last place you look."

"Did you just hear a cow?"

'I need to buy some gas, but I forgot my wallet. Do you have $18,000 on you?'

"According to the charts, it should be clear sailing after this."

"I think they're saying something about wanting to maintain the integrity of their border."

'It's not as deep on this side.'

Small boat, heavy anchor.

'You remind me of the ocean. . . you make me sick.'

'I'm disappointed in you Walter. All these years and I find out you've been faking your screams of agony!'

New Seaside Development.

'Oh, oh, there goes the whole neighbourhood.'

Becalmed yachts

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

Musical Sailing Boat.

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

The Mayflower "Contents May Settle."

'Jim called to say he apologizes to you and the 300 guests, but he'll have to marry you next week instead. He totally forgot he made plans to go to a boat show this weekend.'

We're frequent rowers. Any chance of an upgrade?

Drunk sailor anchored to a bar.

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Captain? The boat is listing badly.'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

Sailing.

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

'You can't fire me, I quit!'

'We've lashed the first mate to the wheel, sir. I know it's not rough, he just likes it...'