Nautical Know-it-all Gifts

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Captain in a storm

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Are we there yet?'

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

"Mind the whale, dear."

The Dubloon Stops Here

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Captain steering house through flood.

"Touché"

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Farmer and FIsherman

Pirate

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'