Nautical Lore Enthusiast Gifts

Old boatmen impressing children with made up stories about having been a smuggler

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Captain steering house through flood.

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Lighthouse Beam.

Fish or Cut Bait

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

Pirate School: 'Today mateys we are going to study the three aarrrsss.'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Distractions.

"Port outbound, starboard home."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Set sail

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"Call me Ishmael."

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'