Nautical Lore Lover Gifts

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

'Cannonball!'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'All I want for Valentine's Day is a Greek fisherman's cap.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Pirate School: 'Today mateys we are going to study the three aarrrsss.'

"Port outbound, starboard home."

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

Have a very piratical Birthday

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

'This is a dolphin friendly boat.'

Flying Dutchman

'And the poop deck isn't what it sounds like!...We've got a jon boat for that!'

'What?! I barely touched him! He's pulling the old flopperoo!'

"Same ship, different day."

'Well what do you know? There really is plenty of kitsch in the sea!'

'A middle seat?! Just my luck!'

Solemn reference is made to Mr. Bunsby

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

"I just think it sends the wrong message."

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

Pirate toilet.

'Steer clear of the blow hole until we get to Sausalito.'

The Midshipman is boarded by the enemy

"Because the sea can be a cruel mistress."

"I don't half fancy you. . .!"

'Nothin' to worry about, girly. The sugar will rot all his teeth out by the time he gets to us.'

Illustration for 'Foul Play', scene 2.

Gladstone attempts to force Irish Church Suspensory Bill

'Noah, we have more than two barnacles...'

Rum Ration Daiquiris: 'We're spoiling them!'