Straw Enthusiast Gifts

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I ask you, is this the straw of a sane man?"

"You're getting too much fiber."

Unfortunately, Michael's 'wine straw' invention never really caught on.

Wine with a straw

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Garden.

Cow's straw

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

Chocolate Shop

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Power breakfast.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Patissier

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Would you like the Death by Chocolate, Cheesecake, Brownie, Fudge, or just peacefully while you sleep?"

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'It's every SNOW flake that's different, Billy - Not every CORN flake.'

Food Prices and the Ukraine War

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

Shark with fish lollipops

French suppers.

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."