Straw Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I ask you, is this the straw of a sane man?"

"You're getting too much fiber."

Unfortunately, Michael's 'wine straw' invention never really caught on.

Wine with a straw

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Garden.

Cow's straw

Chocolate Shop

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

Power breakfast.

Patissier

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

Gullib-Os

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'I'm collecting goat poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

"Would you like the Death by Chocolate, Cheesecake, Brownie, Fudge, or just peacefully while you sleep?"

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

'It's the natural cereal you requested. No additives. No preservatives. No artificial color.'

'I'm collecting llama poop for my strawberries.' 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Shark with fish lollipops

'I'm doing like you said and not drinking straight from the carton.'

Hog magazine with litters to the editor dept.

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"It's just like the regular stew only it's got some bits of matter in it we can't identify."

French suppers.

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'