Starch Aficionado Gifts

Dr Templeton liked his coat very well starched

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Lactose Intolerant

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Flying sauces.

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

Non-Power Breakfast

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

Coffee shop

'How would you like your toast?'

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Business is so bad even my hotcakes aren't selling like hotcakes."

'Miss Hartley, implement me a coffee and a cheese danish.'

"Sir, we serve pancakes 297 ways. We don't do plain toast."

"A little lamb please."

"A votre sante!"

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

"Are you as excited as I am?"

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

"Everything bad for you has already been removed."

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

Baker Makes Sexy Dough

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she'd leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"Do you want brownies or cookies or banana bread or apple pie or peanut brittle or chocolate muffins or carrot cake?"

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

"The toaster your brother gave us is beginning to get on my nerves."