Strategic Satirist Gifts

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

'This one is for blaming any tactical mistakes on 'the fog of war'.'

"Nation-building never works."

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Flags

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Reagacentennial

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"You're on a what?!"

The International and May Day Terrorism

"These are the principal qualities we're looking for in our new recruits."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'