Satirical Strategists Gifts

Is it true the company is being relocated in Spain?

Wartime Outsourcing

You Can't Fool All The People...

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Reverse psychology

The World's Biggest Book Club

Under new blame.

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

'I'd go back if I were you.'

Coronavirus Windmills

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"In school we learned about Staten Island. Is that where they make all those pills you take?"

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

"Our long-term plan is like our short-term plan, only longer."

"I say we downsize the company to the five of us and see if we can isolate the problem then."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'Johnson, if you're going to have negative thoughts, I suggest you get rid of that thought balloon!'

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

"Hey germ, pick on someone your own size."

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'I thought the memo was quite clear. What part didn't you understand?'