Storytime Expert Gifts

'But then after chopping down the beanstalk, Jack's legal nightmare began...'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'A is for Arse.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

Reading in the family.