Storytime Specialist Gifts

"Don't worry, mom. If a cow can jump over the moon, you can get on your exercise ball."

"I'm here on a grant."

Aesop's Fables - The Mouse and the Weasel

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

' . . . and then the policeman said, I'm sorry Red Riding but you'll just have to pull it down.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"I hope you both end up in landfill!"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'A is for Arse.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

Reading in the family.