Storytime Master Gifts

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'A is for Arse.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Am I looking happy or sad in the appropriate places?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

Reading in the family.

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

Don Quichotte