Storytime Captain Gifts

"And all was good within the kingdom...until the evil prince introduced income tax!"

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

The three little pigs 2010

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"I realise that it shows a lack of maturity .. But I like baby talk."

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

Parenting Skills Training

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

Noah's Nark.

Grimm's Fairytales - Pee Wit; Luring Villagers into the Lake

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

Old woman who lives in a shoe with sick children.

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

Wolf snacks vending machine: 3 Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks.

'Wait a minute...You're the enchanted unicorn?'

Woman and books.

'Read me the fairy tale about Obama!'

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

"Bore me to sleep, Daddy."

'But then after chopping down the beanstalk, Jack's legal nightmare began...'

How to murder birds

Clockwork Toys.