Storytime Captain Gifts

"And all was good within the kingdom...until the evil prince introduced income tax!"

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

The three little pigs 2010

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

Parenting Skills Training

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

Noah's Nark.

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

Grimm's Fairytales - Pee Wit; Luring Villagers into the Lake

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

Old woman who lives in a shoe with sick children.

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

Wolf snacks vending machine: 3 Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks.

'Wait a minute...You're the enchanted unicorn?'

Woman and books.

'Read me the fairy tale about Obama!'

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

Clockwork Toys.

How to murder birds

"Bore me to sleep, Daddy."

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

'But then after chopping down the beanstalk, Jack's legal nightmare began...'

"And this little piggy said, 'Putting aside the fact that we are domesticated pigs, and can subsist quite well on a diet of corn and grains, there is the very real and disturbing possibility that the roast beef you're eating was our dear friend Margie.'"