Storytime Visionary Gifts

Kid to mom about 'Little Red Riding Hood' story: 'You know, that would make one heck of an action flick.'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'A is for Arse.'

Creativity

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."