Storytime Visionary Gifts

Kid to mom about 'Little Red Riding Hood' story: 'You know, that would make one heck of an action flick.'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'A is for Arse.'

Creativity

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."