Storytime Innovator Gifts

'A is for Arse.'

Pre-Recorded Crying For A Story

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

'Read me 'Br'er Rabbit again and this time leave out the southern accent.'

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

Sleepy Bunny