Storytime Sensation Gifts

'Ark, Noah - not arc!'

Lady reading

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Little Princess.

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'A is for Arse.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'