Storytime Fun Gifts

"Mom, what season is it when the leaves fall off the trees and are replaced with plastic bags?"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Swan Fairy Tales

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

Little Princess.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."