Storytime Event Gifts

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

Swan Fairy Tales

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

Sleepy Bunny

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."